Thinking is Hard, Judging is a lazy shortcut
Carl Jung said, “Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” And if you’ve ever sat through a group chat, a school committee meeting, or two minutes on Facebook, you know the man was right.
Thinking — real thinking — is work. Not the fake “let me Google something that confirms what I already believe” kind of work. I’m talking about the full-contact, nervous-system-activated kind. The kind that makes you pause, reflect, own your shit, and ask, “Could I be part of the problem?”
But that? That’s uncomfortable. It takes energy. It’s slow. And for a lot of people, especially the ones who bark on the internet or cut people off in traffic while mouthing words like “entitled,” discomfort is the cue to eject. So instead of sitting in that hot seat, they grab a gavel and start judging. Because judging feels better. Judging gives you that sweet dopamine hit of moral superiority without having to change a single thing.
It’s emotional fast food: zero nutrition, hits the spot in the moment, makes you feel like shit if you actually sit with it. Brain scans even show our reward pathways light up when we judge because it makes us feel certain and in control (Lieberman et al., 2007). No wonder we keep going back for seconds.
Judgment is what happens when curiosity calls in sick.
It’s your brain slapping a label on something so it doesn’t have to feel confused, scared, or threatened. And once that label sticks, good luck getting underneath it.
Judging says:
“That mom’s a mess. Look at her kid’s hair.”
Thinking says:
“Damn, mornings must be fucking chaos for her.”
Judging says:
“That guy’s an arrogant prick.”
Thinking says:
“Something about him pisses me off. Wonder what nerve he’s stepping on.”
Judging says:
“Kids today are weak.”
Thinking says:
“Yeah, or maybe life’s just been punching them in different places than it punched me.”
Judging says:
“She’s so dramatic.”
Thinking says:
“Shit, she’s probably feeling stuff I’m too numb to even notice.”
Judging says:
“He’s lazy as hell.”
Thinking says:
“Or he just doesn’t give a shit about the stuff I think is important.”
Judging says:
“That dude’s a total asshole driver.”
Thinking says:
“Or maybe he’s late for something that actually matters. Or maybe he’s just an asshole. Either way, not my circus.”
Judging says:
“They’re so rude for not texting back.”
Thinking says:
“Or they’re drowning in life right now and my text isn’t their emergency.”
Judging says:
“She’s so full of herself.”
Thinking says:
“Confidence like that makes me uncomfortable. Wonder why.”
Judgment is reflex. Thinking is response. Kahneman’s research shows our brains default to fast, lazy judgments because it’s efficient — real thinking takes effort, and most people tap out (Kahneman, 2011).
But judging isn’t all bad.
Let’s be real — judgment isn’t always just you being an asshole. Sometimes it’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do: keep you safe.
We’re wired to size people up fast. That’s why if you’re walking alone at night and someone’s giving off weird vibes, you don’t stop to psychoanalyze their childhood. Your brain judges fast: “Danger. Cross the street.” That snap judgment might keep you alive.
Even when it’s not life-or-death, judgment filters things for us. You notice when someone’s vibe is off. You get that gut feeling when your coworker smiles too big but their eyes say they’d sell you out in a second. You sense when a group isn’t your people.
Judgment can protect you. It can be wise. It’s your brain’s way of scanning for safe or unsafe? Familiar or unfamiliar? Approach or avoid? (Lieberman et al., 2007)
The problem is when judgment becomes your only tool. When you use it not to protect your safety, but your ego. When you slap labels on people just so you don’t have to sit with your own discomfort, fear, or insecurity.
That’s when judgment stops being a shield and turns into a prison.
You ever notice how judgment feels powerful and thinking feels… exhausting?
Judging is like walking past a messy garage and saying, “What a shitshow,” before moving on with your day feeling superior.
Thinking is walking into that garage. Noticing the moldy boxes, the broken crap you’ve avoided, the stuff you forgot you even stuffed away. It’s uncomfortable. It smells weird. It might mean you find something you didn’t want to see. But at least you know what’s actually in there.
Judging keeps you clean, safe, removed.
Thinking is humbling. You sort through old wounds, outdated beliefs, and all the junk you buried because it was too much to face at the time.
Judging gives you distance. Thinking gives you understanding.
And yeah, it’s faster to critique someone else’s mess. But while you’re busy side-eyeing their chaos, your own garage is growing mold and spiders. Thinking is rolling up the door, grabbing a trash bag, and deciding what stays, what goes, and what actually matters.
And let’s not pretend we don’t all do it.
I do it too. All the fucking time.
I judge the guy who doesn’t put his shopping cart back. I judge the parent screaming at their kid. I judge the dude driving a lifted truck like he’s compensating for something. Hell, I judge myself for judging other people. That’s how twisted this shit is.
It’s automatic. Reflex. Our brains love shortcuts — judgment is the fastest way to feel in control when life’s spinning.
One study at Princeton found we judge a person’s trustworthiness in a tenth of a second (Todorov et al., 2008). It’s that deep. Judgment might keep you feeling safe. But curiosity is what keeps you human.
I try to catch it. Because every time I judge, there’s something underneath it I’m trying not to feel. Maybe it’s my own guilt, fear, or that voice that says “you’re not good enough either.”
So yeah — I judge. You judge. We all do. Anyone who says they don’t is full of shit or too checked out to notice. The difference is whether you let it run your life on autopilot, or you pause, dig deeper, and say, “Yup, that’s me too.”
If you don’t? Enjoy your personal Groundhog Day: same judgments, new target, same stuck you.
So what now?
Next time you catch yourself judging — pause. Ask, “What story am I telling myself right now?” Better yet: “What am I trying not to feel by making this person the problem?”
The reality: our brains love judgment. It kept our ancestors alive. Now? It mostly keeps us stuck and disconnected.
Neuroscientists at NYU found when we judge, our brain’s default mode network — the background commentary that never shuts up — lights up big time (Schilbach et al., 2008). It’s your built-in gossip factory.
But if you want real growth — new neural pathways, less reactivity, actual connection — curiosity beats judgment every time.
Studies show curiosity fires up your brain’s reward centers, boosts learning, and makes you more empathetic (Kang et al., 2009; Silvia, 2008). In plain English: curiosity makes you less of an asshole and more of a human.
Sometimes what you’re avoiding is simple:
I’m tired.
I feel out of control.
I’m overwhelmed.
I feel like shit about myself and judging them gives me a five-second ego boost.
Cool. Now deal with that.
Thinking might be hard. But living on autopilot, powered by judgment? That’s way fucking harder. That’s how people end up bitter, burned out, and convinced they’re the only sane ones left in a world full of idiots.
You’re not. You’re just scared. And that’s okay. Own it. Get curious. And for the love of Jung — try thinking instead.
-Matt
References
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books.
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Kang, M. J., Hsu, M., Krajbich, I. M., Loewenstein, G., McClure, S. M., Wang, J. T., & Camerer, C. F. (2009). The wick in the candle of learning: Epistemic curiosity activates reward circuitry and enhances memory. Psychological Science, 20(8), 963–973. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02402.x
Lieberman, M. D. (2007). Social cognitive neuroscience: A review of core processes. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 259–289. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085654
Schilbach, L., Eickhoff, S. B., Mojzisch, A., & Vogeley, K. (2008). What’s in a smile? Neural correlates of facial embodiment during social interaction. Social Neuroscience, 3(1), 37–50. https://doi.org/10.1080/17470910701563228
Silvia, P. J. (2008). Interest—The curious emotion. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 17(1), 57–60. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2008.00548.x
Todorov, A., Baron, S. G., & Oosterhof, N. N. (2008). Evaluating faces on trustworthiness: An extension of systems for recognition of emotions signaling approach/avoidance behaviors. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124(1), 208–224. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1440.012